Deep Thoughts

For some reason, I have recently been thinking about things I would go back and change if I could. To be honest there are not many. I think part of that is because with time comes some sort of clarity as to why we have gone through the experiences that we do. I think that, in time, we start to understand the lesson we were supposed to learn or realize the great people we met because of a certain situation. God truly works in mysterious ways....

The one decision that I made that I still struggle with on a daily basis is having LASIK surgery. I am hoping that time does prove to bring some clarity, but for now I am left frustrated for many reasons.

• I feel bad that Chad gave up something that brought him so much joy (his quad) to help make my dreams come true.
• I feel bad that and frustrated that not only was my end result not what we expected, but that, even with correction, I am not able to see well out of my right eye.
• I get frustrated every time I am tired and try to read or see a movie because I am unable to accommodate for my vision problems like I was able to prior to the surgery.
• It is frustrating that there is no way to truly make people understand what it is like for me now.

If I could undo one thing in my life, I would have to say that it would have to be my LASIK surgery. I know someday I will see the good that comes out of this situation, but for now I am just praying for patience.